Gemma Mae

Tuesday March 22nd I had a doctors appointment just like the past 3 Tuesday's at 8:50am. We woke up and it was a cloudy rainy day. As always Jordan came with me- he has been so sweet and great to attend every appointment I've had this pregnancy with the exception of maybe two? I've loved having that time together to bond. We had been having ultrasounds each appointment as of late because my weight and size hadn't been changing much and my doctor wanted to make sure there was enough amniotic fluid for baby girl. At this particular appointment I was 39 weeks, baby was engaged and face down, dilated to a 2 and my amniotic fluid levels were borderline too low so I was given a choice: Head to the hospital that morning or come back in a day to check my fluid levels again. I had been having contractions all weekend, had everything ready to go, squared away, and was so ready to meet my baby! The choice for me was simple but I think I freaked Jordan out. He knew it was a possibility to have our baby any day but when he knew it was down to hours he got a little overwhelmed. Our doctor called the hospital to tell them we would be in soon. We walked out of the doctors office and huge snowflakes had covered the city while we were in our appointment! What a day to go into labor.  We headed home to get our bags, finish some last minute housework and to say bye to Scarlett. We also snapped our last bump pictures!

We left our house at 10:45 and headed to Cafe Rio for one last meal out as a family of 2. I was anxious to get to the hospital quick and ate fast, Jordan not so much... We checked in to St. Marks hospital at 11:45am. They took us to room #4 and I changed into my gown.

 The nurse came to hook me up the monitors, draw blood and get an IV line ready for pitocin and fluids. At 2pm I was started on Pitocin and had a cervical check. Still dilated to a 2. After being checked (twice because the first time the nurse couldn't find my cervix but did she sure try...) I realized how nice and talented my doctor is at cervical checks. I decided to not get checked again until there was clear progress with contractions. My doctor came in to visit me at about 7pm. I was still pretty comfortable and only dilated to a 4 at that point. My doctor wanted me checked again at 10pm and I was left to labor. An hour later I was feeling contractions more intense but still quite bearable. I remember getting upset that a show I wanted to watch wasn't on because I wanted a good distraction.   I talked to my mom on the phone at 9pm and was feeling my contractions more than ever. I could still talk through them, but would get distracted from the conversation. I was pumped up with so much fluids and was bothered by having to unhook from the monitors each time I needed to use the bathroom. A downside of being induced. At least I was able to move around and get out of bed anytime I wanted. One of my favorite positions during labor was leaning over the bed with Jordan using a warm compress and using counter pressure on my lower back.  At 10pm when the nurse checked me I was close to a 6. We figured I was dilating 1cm an hour. That would put us at 3am to start pushing and then however long I needed to push which can be hours... I started rethinking my plans to not have an epidural and it was at that time I asked for fentanyl to see if that helped. Jordan also gave me a blessing- I was so grateful for it and love how supportive and wonderful he was throughout the day and night. I received 50ml of fentanyl, threw up twice and started feeling really dizzy. After throwing up I sat up in the hospital bed and was so comfortable laboring for about an hour (10:45-11:45pm). At midnight my nurse checked me (7cm) and I got another 50ml dose of fentanyl. I was starting to really hurt and was getting quiet and emotional. The fentanyl wasn't helping anymore. Jordan would ask what I needed and I would tell him I didn't know. I wanted to be done. I didn't know if I could do this. I had to ask Jordan for a tissue to wipe away a few escaped tears. I remember hoping this was transition but figured I was kidding myself. I asked if they could up my fentanyl dose to 100ml but they wouldn't give me any more until 1pm. I thought my water had broken but it was just the bloody show.  The hardest thing about labor and the last week(s) before meeting your baby is you don't have a time table. It could be minutes, hours, days, weeks- you just don't know! I layed on my side in the hospital bed with a pillow between my legs squeezing Jordan's hand with one hand and squeezing the bed rail with the other hand. Contractions were barely a couple minutes apart but I would fade out between the contractions. I needed to use the bathroom at 1pm and felt the need to push. I whimpered in the bathroom trying to control the urge/need. With each contraction I felt the same urge/need and I told Jordan to call the nurse. I was terrified of pushing before my body was ready and tearing terribly.  

My nurse came to check me and I didn't really know what she said but I remember trying to ask incoherently to both Jordan and the nurse if I needed to call or if it would be a good time to call my birth photographer. She said definitely. I got mad as Jordan tried texting her and made him call Amanda my birth photographer. She lives in Davis County and I was worried with my lack of control to push she wouldn't make it. This was at 1:25am. Apparently I was so close to being fully dilated. And I believe baby was at 2+station. Things escalated quickly. They called my doctor and she was rushing to the hospital. I started to push with the help of nurses and Jordan. The nurses were all so excited because my water hadn't broken and as I pushed it started to come out fully intact. I didn't know what I was pushing out and reached down and felt my water. It felt like a water balloon between my legs, ha. They were hopeful for a unicorn baby but on my third push it broke. At this time they tried to get me to hold off on pushing until my doctor arrived. I had one nurse helping stretch me out and one holding one leg with Jordan holding my other. I stayed on my side the whole time.  They could see her head and hair and I asked Jordan if it was red. My doctor arrived and 2 pushes later I delivered my baby girl at 1:54am. They laid her on my chest, delayed the cord clamping and I laid there in disbelief. 10 minutes of pushing! No more than 5 real pushes!  Jordan was finally convinced to cut the cord and my doctor and nurses were so cute to stage and take some photos for us because Amanda missed the birth. 

She arrived about 10 minutes after but I was so happy to have her there. It was the closest thing to a perfect birth I could have hoped for. Gemma is beyond perfect. Really, I have the most beautiful daughter. Sorry everyone. I'm a total mom now. I'm so in love with my husband. I have everything I ever wanted in life. 

About 2 hours after Gemma was born we were moved upstairs to room #236 for recovery. Gemma was ready for a bath once we got upstairs and I was able to walk over to the nursery and watch from a rocker. I'm so glad that was apart of my experience. I would have hated to miss her first bath.

I didn't get much or any sleep, but I didn't mind.

Mimi and Papa were our first visitors around 8am. Jordan and my dad went and got me a decent breakfast that wasn't hospital garbage (Lemon pancakes from Lazy Day Cafe), while my mom and I loved on baby girl. The day was filled with soaking up our new addition and visitors. Uncle Ben, Jordan's mom, great grandma and grandpa and my mom came back with Lance and AJ. 

That night I slept really well and at 4am they woke me up to feed Gemma and I never made it back to sleep. We were able to leave the hospital the next day around lunch all 3 of us as a family. I was so ready to have the nurses done pestering me and jamming a thermometer in my ear. 

We were visited by Gemma's pediatrician in the hospital and they wanted to see her back the next day to check for jaundice. (Side note: I can't say enough good things about St. Marks and the service and care we received. I love the way the women's pavilion is set up and that my doctor, Gemma's Doctor, and labor and delivery are all right there. So convenient and everyone has been wonderful.) Anyway, Gemma lost 8% of her birth weight at her checkup but wasn't jaundice, so on Easter we had to go in for a weight check but her and I make a good team and she gained 4oz since my milk came in! Yay! Recovery has been good. I didn't fill my prescriptions and haven't felt like I needed them. However my husband is the best and has been incredible through all of this.  He was amazing coaching me through labor, has taken great care of me postpartum and is wonderful with Gemma. It's my favorite thing in the world to watch him with our daughter. He is so in love with her.  We're so in love. And so grateful. Welcome to the world, Gemma.